Even in a Kiss

"He is in everything. Even in a kiss." - The Count of Monte Cristo

The past couple of months have been really difficult for Nick and I as we have been transitioning to different work places and schools,  and dealing with apartment issues, sickness and family emergencies. But they have been filled with equal amounts of joy and love. Readers expect me to be a more dedicated blogger, for I have learned so much and have so much to share with you about life and love.

With these months being so difficult Nick and I have really been depending on our faith in our Savior to get us through every single moment. It has not been easy to pray and trust that things will turn out ok, but our relationship as a couple has been strengthened so much because of it and I will tell you why, it's because of a simple choice.  That choice is Choosing God every day. Every morning especially on the difficult days I have woken up and decided that I am going to choose to follow and love God today, that I am going to turn the other cheek to those that have hurt me, to look for ways to serve others, to study the scriptures instead of reading/watching other media or social networks, and to being open to the Lords will for me every day.

 Through that simple choice I have noticed little things change, like being more patient with situations, accepting that there is only so much I can do sometimes and being ok with that, being more cheerful while waiting for things to be ok, looking for little ways to serve and love others around me, and praying so much more every day to our Father in Heaven for help and direction,  and seeing  his love and guidance every day as I look for it.

I noticed another things was changing too...... my marriage.  I realized the same principle applied with loving my spouse as it did my Father in Heaven. I decide to choose Nick every day because I love him and I want to love him even more every day. So I wake up every morning and I choose to love him, I choose to better show him that love every day and to look for ways to encourage him, to spend more quality time with him instead of my computer screen,  I choose to serve him and work things through with him, to be patient and to never give up on him, to make him the priority of my life. Choosing him allows my love for him to grow even more every single day as I learn more about him and strive to serve and help him.  It all starts with a Good Morning Kiss. It's so simple and yet it is the best marriage/ life advice I can give.

 Wake up every Morning and choose God and your Spouse. Through those active choices you will notice your marriage strengthening as well as your faith. For they compete each other.  Marriage is a three way street between you, your spouse and God.  I know that when I married Nick in the Beautiful Bountiful Temple we covenanted to make God an equal part of our marriage.  And by doing so I know he more than equally blesses our lives. I am so grateful for that especially on the days I don't want to get out of bed because of depression, or sickness, or stress. Those days I am so grateful for my Spouse choosing me too, through a beautiful Good Morning Love Kiss.

I know God is everywhere blessing us, especially in kisses, and I know that when we make him a part of our kisses, marriages and lives. The simple things will become so much greater than we could ever dream of and we will be so blessed and so unbelievably happy.

With Love REB&NICK

PS: Here is Sara Bareilles music video for "I Choose You" I feel her and I are on the same page with this topic of choosing to love your love every day :)

To learn about our wonderful church go here http://www.mormon.org/
Photos from the lovely Tori Cloward. To view more of her beautiful work go here Tori Cloward Photography

A Better than Irish Blessing

In the Spirit of St. Patrick's Day I wrote a fun Limerick about how Nick and I met.

There once was a lad who loved to sing

About the love fate one day would bring

God led a lass to his door

In need of hope to the core

So he rescued her with a better than Irish Blessing.

Limericks are so fun right! I challenge you all to write your own.

If you're new to this blog here is the full story of how I met my darling husband Nick

How Reb met Nick

Also for fun here is an actual Irish Blessing

Happy St. Patrick's Day Everybody

With Love REB&NICK

The Five Most Important Traits to Look for In a Spouse

About a month after I had met Nick I was on the train heading back to Ogden from Salt Lake City when I had a conversation that changed how I viewed dating and marriage.  The conversation was with a lady named Elissa from Logan who has ten kids and has been married for 32 years.  When I asked her what her secret to be married for so long she said it was choosing the right spouse.  I  asked her what made him the right choice. She replied with giving me the Five Most Important Traits To Look For In a Spouse. These traits helped me to know Nick was the right choice for me and our future family. I am so excited to share them with you today.

THE FIVE MOST IMPORTANT TRAITS TO LOOK FOR IN A SPOUSE

1. They love God with all their heart. You will know this because they love and talk about the gospel and they really listen and follow the promptings from the spirit, as well as obey God's commandments.

2. They Like Old People.  You and your parents will grow old one day. You need to know your spouse will love and care for the elderly. Watch how they treat their parents, that is how they will treat yours.

3. They Like Little People. If you want children it's important to know your spouse loves children, and enjoys them and will love to help you take care of your own. When you get married you will not only be choosing a spouse but also choosing a future mother/father.

4. They Like to Work. They don't think work is a dirty word. If you and your spouse like to work you will have a much happier and secure life. There are always opportunities for people who work hard. Their work ethic is your job security no matter what their skills are.

5. They know how to be happy and positive. When they are depressed they know how to get out of it.  They know how to choose happiness for themselves.  They are comfortable and know themselves well enough to be able to be happy.  This is the most important trait of all and the most difficult to achieve.  Mara Kofoed addresses this topic so much in her "A BLOG ABOUT LOVE" if you would like to start learning about how you can make yourself happy.
 http://www.ablogaboutlove.com/2012/08/depression-choosing-happiness.html

The most important principle with these traits is to develop them in yourself while looking for them in a spouse.  By developing them in yourself people with those characteristics will be more attracted to you and you will be able to have a deeper connection. Be the type of person you wish to marry.


Working on yourself is the most important thing you can do for yourself while dating. It will help you learn so much about the person you are and the person you want to become, and the type of person you want to marry.  You will find out what really means the most to you and you will have so much fun in the process. I married a man with those five characteristics and we are both still developing them more fully every day.  It has been the best part of my life to enjoy that journey. So work on these traits whether you are married or single and  have so much fun, that's what life is all about.

With Love  REB&NICK

Happy Birthday Grandma Jeanie

I'd like to take some time today to honor my beloved Grandma Jeanie whose birthday it is today. Although she passed away in May 2012 I will always hold her close in my heart. A few days before she passed I was able to have a beautiful conversation with her about love and life. I would like to share some of that last conversation on this blog today in her honor.

This conversation took place on May 10, 2012.

Jeanie- "I was born a poor white child.  March 08, 1947. 12:00 noon! High noon, at one of the Last Indian Hospitals in Phoenix Arizona. Amen! I was the first child to my mother and father. My mother was a very tiny woman, a lot like Cathy (my mother).  I was very proud of my little girl panties. Mom took me downtown, I was two and we took the bus.  I got on the bus and the first thing I did was lift up my dress so the bus driver could see my panties.  They were pretty with the ruffles on. In front of god, and everyone I showed them my panties."

Jeanie- "A relationship is like a keystone it takes two people to hold your relationship together. Too many people grow in different directions.  Bloom where your planted. I have relationship issues my dad abandoned us, my first marriage fell apart, Roger was a hound dog, Archie raised those kids.  The priesthood save our marriage.  He was always good to me I had trust issues built in relationships, that I think I'm going to be abandoned.  Some of us aren't made for relationships.  I wanted my cheaper by the Dozen House six kids, pets, crocheting, canning, cooking."

Jeanie- "Don't pine over anyone, because it's just going to happen.  If it doesn't you are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it! listen to the impressions around you, follow them. Wait until your heart says its right, and don't do it in two days, get to know the person, know how everything works."

Jeanie- "I was pushing 20 when I got married and that was considered old then.  I worked at Moterola after school, they made stuff for computer, I helped send people to the moon. Then I got my car and then I met Jack. Marriage is not freedom. Listen to Me and Bobby Magee. It is hard work time and selflessness same with children, you need to know you're ready to do that.  I wasn't supposed to be with him (Jack) but if I hadn't I wouldn't have had your daddy.

Jeanie-"I'm not afraid, what I'm afraid of is leaving you guys, I don't want to suffer I don't want to hurt."

Jeanie-"No one can be a saint, you'll always step on somebody's toes, just make sure it's a light step, use your ballet shoes.  I'd rather be stepped on by ballet shoes than tap shoes. Life is rough and you're not just going to float by like cream."

Her stake President then walked into the room and we talked with him for a while about the Lord's timing and about faith. I remember him telling me "Faith is the power, obedience is the price, love is the motive, the spirit is the key and Christ is the reason."

I will never forget that day, that one last afternoon I spent with my Grandma Jeanie, it was the last day she was really conscious. The spirit was so strong, I remember when I left she told me she loved me and was so proud of me, and I was able to tell her I loved her too.  She gave me her get well teddy bear as I would have to leave to go back to school soon. A couple days later on May 16th she passed.  I was the only one in my immediate family not there when she left. That was so hard for me. So that wonderful afternoon on May 11th was our goodbye and I will always remember it.



I will end this post with a poem my grandma had written for the newspaper at her care center which was called "Hunter Hollow Happenings."  She was in charge of a column called Jeanie's Gestures.  This poem was in the May 2012 paper, the last one she would write.

"We are dealing with spring time and coming into summer, where the time we can feel young and spry; like the flowers and plants that are springing out of the ground.  We should take advantage of the energy that a new spring day can bring.  Enjoy the garden and the flowers of life, enjoy our families and our friends and be grateful for them! You never know what can happen! Or what stranger could be  a best friend until you get to know them.  Too many people are closed off to getting to know each other (not growing like spring flowers). We need to open our hearts to every experience we face. We have the good, flowers and sunshine; the bad, the storms and wind.  Without a little bite of the bad we don't enjoy the good.  Just like without a little bite of salt, the dish won't turn out; even chocolate chip cookies have a little salt to make an amazing dessert."

I hope you will learn from these words as much as I have
With Love REB

Adoption not Abortion "A Person's A Person No Matter How Small" (Horton Hears a Who and Pro Life).

This post is about a difficult subject, but one that I am strongly passionate about. It is about ABORTION, which I am strongly against.  But recently I was reading a popular children's book and I discovered that it could be seen as a Pro Life political work.  The Book was HORTON HEARS A WHO by Dr. Suess.

To refresh our memories about the story I will quickly summarize it.  Our hero Horton is playing in some water when he hears a little voice coming from a speck of dust. He decides to pick up the speck and put it on a soft piece of clover.  He then discovers that the speck is home to a whole town of people known as who's.  Immediately Sour Kangaroo starts making fun of Horton stating that there is no way anyone is on that speck of clover. Several of the other Jungle creatures join her disbelief and the decide to boil the clover in hot water unless Horton can prove the people are real.  So the town on the clover makes tons of noise to prove they are there, which isn't loud enough until every single person in their town including little JoJo the smallest of them all helped out. Showing that every single person made a difference in saving their town. Once the Jungle creatures realize they really are there. They decide to help protect the people on the clover as well. Following the mantra that, "A Persons a Person No Matter How Small."

Doesn't it sound similar to the fight against Abortion.  Unfortunately for our unborn Fetus's they have no way when they are 12 weeks in the womb to make noise to prove they are there and that they matter. We need to protect them, and prove they are there and have the right to live.  Just like Horton we need to save our little people. So many people will be like the Sour Kangaroo, claiming that since the Fetus isn't fully developed it is still ok to kill them, and that since they don't look quite human yet they don't deserve human rights. It is our job to fight that opinion and prove them wrong!!! Here are some quotes from the story that I feel emphasize the right for every baby to be born. 

"“Should I put this speck down?...” Horton thought with alarm. “If I do, these small persons may come to great harm. I can’t put it down. And I won’t! After all a person’s a person. No matter how small.” "- Horton

"“For almost two days you’ve run wild and insisted on chatting 

with persons who’ve never existed. Such carryings-on in our peaceable jungle! We’ve had 

quite enough of your bellowing bungle! And I’m here to state,” snapped the big kangaroo, 

“that your silly nonsensical game is all through!” And the young kangaroo in her pouch said, 

“Me, too!” “With the help of the Wickersham Brothers and dozens of Wickersham uncles and 

Wickersham cousins and Wickersham in-laws, whose help I’ve engaged, you’re going to be 

roped! And you’re going to be caged! And, as for our dust speck…hah! That we shall boil in 

hot steaming kettle of beezle-nut oil!”" - Sour Kangaroo

“We’ve GOT to make noises in greater amounts! So, open your 

mouth, lad! For every voice counts!” Thus he spoke as he climbed. When they got to the top, 

the lad cleared his throat and he shouted out, “Yopp!” 

And that Yopp… That one small extra Yopp put it over! Finally, at last! From that speck on 

that clover their voices were heard! They rang out clear and clean. And the elephant smiled. 

“Do you see what I mean?... They’ve proved they ARE persons, not matter how small. And 

their whole world was saved by the Smallest of ALL!” “How true! Yes, how true,” said the 

big kangaroo. “And, from now on, you know what I’m planning to do?... From now on, I’m 

going to protect them with you!” And the young kangaroo in her pouch said,… 

 “…ME, TOO! From sun in the summer. From rain when it’s fall-ish, I’m going to protect 

them. No matter how small-ish! - Dr. Suess

The motto to the story as Horton proudly says, "Even though you can't see or hear them all, a person's a person, no matter how small."

We all know that there is an option, for those who can't keep their newborns.  An option that allows those who can't have children on their own to be able to have the gift of life they so long for.  It's Adoption! and it is a wonderful thing.  Half of my husbands siblings are adopted from Mexico, 4 out of 8.  I could not picture life with out them, and I'm so glad that their birth parents gave their children the right to live. With out it half of our family would not exist. 

Picture half of this family not here, the adopted siblings and their children not in existence. that is the terrible truth of abortion. And so many blessings and love have come from those amazing individuals in our family because they were given the gift of life. It's the least we can do in a world where so many terrible things happen that are out of our control. 

This matter is in our control, and with a change of a few letters, we can change ABORTION to ADOPTION and give life and happiness to those around us.  Especially those who want those children so badly! I'm so grateful for my husbands beautiful family. And for his parents who were so loving in opening their lives to adopting four amazing children who are some of my best friends and siblings in law.  So grateful to them, and for their birth moms who loved them enough to be brave and give them the best future possible through adoption. I have so much respect for them. It really is about love.

So remember, "A Person's a Person No Matter How Small." And so is the difference you can make in the world.

With love, 

 REB&NICK

Sweet, Simple, LOVE

Nick and I learned some valuable truths about showing LOVE this Valentines Day

                 

First of all while we were singing on 25th street some super nice girls wanted to take our picture and listen to us sing "Everything has Changed" by Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift. It made our nights to see that our love was touching and inspiring people. And that people liked our music!! But I will get to that part of the story.

                           

Truth 1: Simple things such as dressing nicely for your hubby really make a big difference to them.  I noticed in the past that Nick likes it when I take time to look good for him and he really appreciated it Valentines Day, especially since he had worked all day, it was a pleasant surprise that set the tone for the evening. 

Truth 2: It doesn't take anything expensive or complicated to make a fun surprise for your spouse, it seriously is the thought that counts!! Especially with Nick.  The theme of this surprise was: There are many wonderful love stories in the world, but OURS will always be my favorite. I chose this because I finally wrote our love story in a Shutterfly book to surprise Nick. The chick flick DVD's we all ready had and Nick had previously mentioned the night before that he wanted to watch a chick flick on Valentines with me. He picked "Alex and Emma", which is such a great film. I also got Nick a couple of his favorite treats (Reeses and Doritos) my mom got us the Sparkling Cider (Our Favorite) and Thin Mints. I all ready had the mugs and I got the mini family traditions book, and the things to do once in a lifetime cards, discounted from the Weber State Bookstore. Then there is our traditional Whiteboard we write all our love notes to each other on.  It is such a fun inexpensive tradition we use to show we care. Lastly I wrote Nick a note to bring all of the gifts together.

My Darling Nickolas,

On this Valentines Day I wanted to tell you how I love how your sunflower eyes SPARKLE. You're a wonderful CHIP off the old man's block my DEAR ito ;) 

You are a gentleman and so NICE! I really appreciate and love that! Darling I love you to PIECES more than any KAT. 

I can't wait to shower you with KISSES

And start a FAMILY with you.

There are many love stories out there, but OURS is my Favorite.

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=wAZOHLNy1cM2bV2M

(Link to our Story)

I can't wait to spend the rest of my LIFETIME and the rest of Forever with YOU!

LOVE, your Darling Reb 

Since Nicks Love Language is words of affirmation and mine is gifts, this was the perfect way of combining the two, so I could still love him in his language while still speaking mine (by giving a gift). Nick loved this surprise!! 

Truth 3: Make Valentines Day about Family!! Valentines Day is also Nick's Dad's birthday which has been such a blessing because it has helped us focus on loving our family on Valentines Day.  Family has the best kinds of love and often gets overlooked on Valentines Day which is sad.  Whether you're single or in a relationship! Show your family and friends you love them on Valentines Day.  Nick and I are super excited to start or own family that we will teach the real meaning of love too.  I think it's important to keep Valentines Day pure, so many people focus on Physical Love on Valentines Day which I think is fine but sad! If people focused more on their Emotional Relationships on Valentines Day I think it would be more enjoyable for everyone.  But the physical parts can be so fun especially when your married;) So make it fun!! But also focus on giving all your family and friends love!

Truth 4: Do things that take you back to where/how/when you originally fell in love.  It will bring all those original feelings back, plus blissful nostalgia and amazement about how far you have come.  For Nick and I that place was Historic 25th street in Ogden, and the how was through music.  So after Nick saw his surprise, we decided to go for a walk (Because the weather was beautiful) and we ended up going to good old 25th street, and sitting on this adorable blue bench, and singing the night away.  It was so romantic and exciting, we both just let go as we sang our hearts away to each other and to the people around us, allowing our harmony to intertwine through the night air. While we were singing these awesome girls told us that we reminded them of the couple in the "Endless Love" movie they had just seen and asked to take our picture.  So we sang to them.  It was so rewarding to share a piece of our love with them.  I hope we inspired them a little to wait for the one person that makes everything just fall into place. I know Nick was worth waiting for;) And singing with him is one of the most exhilarating and liberating things I have done in a long time. I felt my voice becoming free again, and my anxiety and fears crumbling down. It's incredible what love can do.

So happy Valentines Day Everyone from us to you, may you always recognize the love everywhere in your life, whether you are in a relationship or not.  There are always people their for you, that love you and support you, and Valentines Day is a great way to recognize them. I know we love you!!!! 

So Happy Late V-Day from us to you 

LOVE REB&NICK 

Crashiversary

A year ago yesterday (January 22, 2013),  I was in a car accident that changed my life. It was an accident my roommate and I really shouldn't have walked out of.  But somehow we did, with minimal injuries and a totaled car. This was nothing short of a miracle.  It was a shattering experience, you never realize what is exactly going on, you just feel the collision motion and then go spinning off into nothingness, too shocked to comprehend the gravity of what happened or would happen next.  It taught me that life is fragile, and yet that my work here isn't done yet.  I thought of all the hundreds of t bone accidents like ours that were fatal.  I wondered to myself why out of all the other accidents did we survive, the odds were incredulous, and yet we were still here. Our families rushed to the ER to make sure we were all right, it was one of those moments that shows to us what matters the most, and how we are prioritizing to put what matters first. It was that moment that I knew I would marry Nick, as he was sitting next to my Dad in the ER, before he assisted my Dad in giving me a priesthood blessing. He even kind of brought it up to my dad as we were in the ER, not so sure that was the best timing to announce to the father of the girl laying in the ER that you're considering marrying his daughter. It was fun/ awkward for me to watch this scene go down, but touching at the same
time, but I knew I wanted to marry him too (this wasn't his official proposal, or his official asking my dad's permission so you know), however, it was an important moment for us as a couple. I'm so grateful for that moment of clarity of why I was still here why I survived that crash and my eternal purpose in being a future wife and mother, as well as a sister and daughter.  Those crucial relationships are all that truly matter in the end! I knew what I would focus on the rest of my time here LOVE, I would focus on loving and supporting them first, living and prioritizing as if I were going to get in that awful crash again the next day. Each of us have been given this wonderful chance at life and love! I hope we all use it to make the world a better place for our loved ones. I know that's what I'm going to do. Have you ever had a crash in your life, that helped you realize what was important to you (figuratively or literally).

 

Live every day prioritizing what means most!!
With love Reb&Nick

The Musician Husband

For those of you who do not know my husband Nickolas Whitesides is an unbelievable musician.  Not only does he play guitar, drums, uke, piano and bass he also writes his own music and music for other artists he also sings. His voice has a similar vibe to Ryan Tedder from One Republic, and Chris Carabba from Dashboard Confessionals Here is his profile on Reverb Nation where you can find some of his songs for free download and become a fan.http://www.reverbnation.com/nickwhitesides

Currently he is in a band called Double or Nothing where he is the lead vocalist and guitar. There new CD should be coming out soon. Their new single JULIET is available on Itunes, as is their older CD titled Silhouettes Fade. You can also find their music on Spotify under Double or Nothing. 

Here is their youtube video for Juliet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piVGCa7JM4M

and there video for NEXT TO ME  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4U1UJFpOQ1U and there Reverb Nation Profile http://www.reverbnation.com/doubleornothingmusic

Another he has written for include the lovely Abby Smith from http://www.twistmepretty.com/ you can check out her music http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/315780931/inspirational-album-believer and order her amazing LDS inspirational Music CD entitled BELIEVER that my husband helped to co write. She has an incredible spirit and voice, as well is an amazing fashion blogger with  great hair tutorials. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa7Bg4OsG-s

Another Artist Nick has written for is Sydney Tycksen. Her single TRUTH IS, you can view right above this sentence.

  

Nick can write custom songs for every occassion so. If you would like your own wedding song, or a song for a dying loved one, or a song for fun.  Or if you are looking into recording your own CD with your own unique songs look into having a consultation with my husband! You can contact him through me or through the contact information on his Reverb Nation page http://www.reverbnation.com/nickwhitesides. If you have any questions or need an event performer or a custom song, or just want to know about Nick's music. Email me at rDancer11@gmail.com or Nick at nikotitopalis95@yahoo.com. Listen and be a fan, I know I sure am :D

With Love, Reb&Nick