Crashiversary

A year ago yesterday (January 22, 2013),  I was in a car accident that changed my life. It was an accident my roommate and I really shouldn't have walked out of.  But somehow we did, with minimal injuries and a totaled car. This was nothing short of a miracle.  It was a shattering experience, you never realize what is exactly going on, you just feel the collision motion and then go spinning off into nothingness, too shocked to comprehend the gravity of what happened or would happen next.  It taught me that life is fragile, and yet that my work here isn't done yet.  I thought of all the hundreds of t bone accidents like ours that were fatal.  I wondered to myself why out of all the other accidents did we survive, the odds were incredulous, and yet we were still here. Our families rushed to the ER to make sure we were all right, it was one of those moments that shows to us what matters the most, and how we are prioritizing to put what matters first. It was that moment that I knew I would marry Nick, as he was sitting next to my Dad in the ER, before he assisted my Dad in giving me a priesthood blessing. He even kind of brought it up to my dad as we were in the ER, not so sure that was the best timing to announce to the father of the girl laying in the ER that you're considering marrying his daughter. It was fun/ awkward for me to watch this scene go down, but touching at the same
time, but I knew I wanted to marry him too (this wasn't his official proposal, or his official asking my dad's permission so you know), however, it was an important moment for us as a couple. I'm so grateful for that moment of clarity of why I was still here why I survived that crash and my eternal purpose in being a future wife and mother, as well as a sister and daughter.  Those crucial relationships are all that truly matter in the end! I knew what I would focus on the rest of my time here LOVE, I would focus on loving and supporting them first, living and prioritizing as if I were going to get in that awful crash again the next day. Each of us have been given this wonderful chance at life and love! I hope we all use it to make the world a better place for our loved ones. I know that's what I'm going to do. Have you ever had a crash in your life, that helped you realize what was important to you (figuratively or literally).

 

Live every day prioritizing what means most!!
With love Reb&Nick

2013: This Crazy Roller coaster we call Life

2013 was a roller coaster, with some of the best good that has ever happened to Nick and I and also the greatest adversity We have ever faced!

 January started the year with a car accident that should have been fatal, Kimberly Zavala Knowles and I were lucky to be alive. It also featured the Sundance Film Festival where Nick played at The Hotel Park City.

February brought my first full time job at Belliston Jewelry which changed my life and taught me so much, even though I had to leave school that semester.

 March brought my engagement to my best friend and soul mate Nickolas Whitesides.

 April had me say farewell for now to my amazing grandfather Arch Reidhead.

On the bright side of April Nick was able to have his band open for the Rocket Summer

 May brought owning our first apartment, Nicks 27th birthday, my associate’s degree, and my being able to go through the temple for the first time. 

 June 1, 2013 Nick and I were married for time and all eternity in the Bountiful Temple, which started the first day of our new lives with a new fantastic family, I received 15 nieces and nephews and they have brought so much joy and love. And we went on an amazing California road trip honeymoon. When we came back Nick was able to open for the band Cartel!

 July brought the beginning of my new fight with IBS and Anxiety, along with what we now know are some other infections. On the bright side Nick was able to have an awesome audition for American Idol! He's too good for that show!

 August allowed my sister to go be a missionary in Portugal for the LDS church!! We miss her but will see her soon. 

September started the worst semester of school I have had in my life!! But I learned so much about what I didn't want, and I made it through alive.

And we got to shoot a paint balls at zombies 

 October brought my 21st birthday, and the departure of my incredible Aunt Valerie Porter she will be greatly  missed, but her family is wonderful and I am so grateful to have them in my life. 

November was filled with tests, the beginning of this blog and delicious Thanksgiving with my two wonderful families.

 December brought a wonderful first Christmas with all my amazing family as well as a new niece named Ruby :D

Through it all I was so blessed to go through all of it with my wonderful husband Nick. Some big changes are coming and they will be difficult, but through it all everything will happen the way it is supposed to be.  There is no one I'd rather be than us.  Happy New Years Everyone.

With Love Reb and Nick

One Brick at a Time

Baggage is an interesting concept that has a major impact in relationships. I think that how a couple handles and helps each other with baggage will define and determine whether or not the relationship, especially a marriage will go the distance.  Nick and I developed an interesting approach to our baggage that helped us to fall even more in love with each other while helping unpack our bags. (Which are full of heavy bricks).

Nick and I developed a concept called ONE BRICK AT A TIME. We knew that our past experiences had caused us to build walls around our hearts, feelings, emotions and comfort zones.  Those separate walls were what were coming between us and our happily ever after.  We knew we not only needed to tear down each other's individual walls, but we also needed to build a wall or fortress around both of us together in order to protect us, from the forces that would want to tear our relationship down (THE BIG BAD WOLF your familiar with the three little piggies right).  We knew we needed to build our relationship with strong bricks, and in order to do that our personal walls needed to come down. If not our relationship and future marriage would be susceptible to all the forces in our day trying to tear marriage family and relationships apart! ( Porn, immorality, war, chaos, anger, pride, poverty) THE BIG BAD WOLF called LIFE in MORTALITY. And from the three little pigs, we knew that straw, and sticks weren't going to make the cut.  We had to do things the right way, and we needed to use bricks, from our personal walls. For your entertainment and enlightenment here's Disney's Version of the Big Bad Wolf Story. One of the pigs major problems was that they were so into putting up there own personal walls to protect themselves, which put them in danger, instead of working together in building a strong house for all of them.  The two first piggies were lucky they had a great friend in the smart Brick Pig, or they would have been lunch. I believe that working together is one of the first steps to building a strong foundation for a family, marriage, or friendship. Also as the third pig new, building a strong foundation (relationship) takes time, effort and COMMITMENT, but the results are worth it.

 Nick and I decided that slowly every day we would take one brick from each others individual wall and use it to build our fortress of our love protecting and uniting both of us in the same circle. I hope that visual makes sense.  We wanted to turn our past hurt and weaknesses into strengths that we could build our lives around.  A brick could be a fear, or a bad experience, or a mistake, or a regret.  We would remove them by communicating with each other, not judging, and explaining why that brick was even there, why that fear was there, and what kept it up.  We are still slowly tearing bricks down.  During our engagement I think our structure looked like it did above, a skeleton of a house, but starting.  Our goal is to be able to build a sturdy relationship fortress like the one below. Making our Marriage our home, our comfort, our security, and where we could finally let our guard down.  This process has not only helped us to get closer as a couple. But it also has allowed us to know what we need to do to protect our relationship, and what we need to do individually and together to always be growing together. It is not always easy some days are hard and we end up putting part of our personal walls back up, or having one of the walls of our fortress fall down.  But as long as we keep building and trying we will build a life for ourselves that the big bad wolf won't be able to tear down.  One day we will have little ones and I want us to be able to protect them in a house with a strong foundation, which will be our marriage in family.  To help them know what a strong family is, and to give them the best shot at love and life possible. To build around us ONE BRICK AT A TIME, and when that big bad wolf (life) comes to huff and puff and blow our relationship to the ground. He won't be able too! 

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf.........NOT US :D

With LOVE, REB&NICK