The Five Most Important Traits to Look for In a Spouse

About a month after I had met Nick I was on the train heading back to Ogden from Salt Lake City when I had a conversation that changed how I viewed dating and marriage.  The conversation was with a lady named Elissa from Logan who has ten kids and has been married for 32 years.  When I asked her what her secret to be married for so long she said it was choosing the right spouse.  I  asked her what made him the right choice. She replied with giving me the Five Most Important Traits To Look For In a Spouse. These traits helped me to know Nick was the right choice for me and our future family. I am so excited to share them with you today.

THE FIVE MOST IMPORTANT TRAITS TO LOOK FOR IN A SPOUSE

1. They love God with all their heart. You will know this because they love and talk about the gospel and they really listen and follow the promptings from the spirit, as well as obey God's commandments.

2. They Like Old People.  You and your parents will grow old one day. You need to know your spouse will love and care for the elderly. Watch how they treat their parents, that is how they will treat yours.

3. They Like Little People. If you want children it's important to know your spouse loves children, and enjoys them and will love to help you take care of your own. When you get married you will not only be choosing a spouse but also choosing a future mother/father.

4. They Like to Work. They don't think work is a dirty word. If you and your spouse like to work you will have a much happier and secure life. There are always opportunities for people who work hard. Their work ethic is your job security no matter what their skills are.

5. They know how to be happy and positive. When they are depressed they know how to get out of it.  They know how to choose happiness for themselves.  They are comfortable and know themselves well enough to be able to be happy.  This is the most important trait of all and the most difficult to achieve.  Mara Kofoed addresses this topic so much in her "A BLOG ABOUT LOVE" if you would like to start learning about how you can make yourself happy.
 http://www.ablogaboutlove.com/2012/08/depression-choosing-happiness.html

The most important principle with these traits is to develop them in yourself while looking for them in a spouse.  By developing them in yourself people with those characteristics will be more attracted to you and you will be able to have a deeper connection. Be the type of person you wish to marry.


Working on yourself is the most important thing you can do for yourself while dating. It will help you learn so much about the person you are and the person you want to become, and the type of person you want to marry.  You will find out what really means the most to you and you will have so much fun in the process. I married a man with those five characteristics and we are both still developing them more fully every day.  It has been the best part of my life to enjoy that journey. So work on these traits whether you are married or single and  have so much fun, that's what life is all about.

With Love  REB&NICK

Sweet, Simple, LOVE

Nick and I learned some valuable truths about showing LOVE this Valentines Day

                 

First of all while we were singing on 25th street some super nice girls wanted to take our picture and listen to us sing "Everything has Changed" by Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift. It made our nights to see that our love was touching and inspiring people. And that people liked our music!! But I will get to that part of the story.

                           

Truth 1: Simple things such as dressing nicely for your hubby really make a big difference to them.  I noticed in the past that Nick likes it when I take time to look good for him and he really appreciated it Valentines Day, especially since he had worked all day, it was a pleasant surprise that set the tone for the evening. 

Truth 2: It doesn't take anything expensive or complicated to make a fun surprise for your spouse, it seriously is the thought that counts!! Especially with Nick.  The theme of this surprise was: There are many wonderful love stories in the world, but OURS will always be my favorite. I chose this because I finally wrote our love story in a Shutterfly book to surprise Nick. The chick flick DVD's we all ready had and Nick had previously mentioned the night before that he wanted to watch a chick flick on Valentines with me. He picked "Alex and Emma", which is such a great film. I also got Nick a couple of his favorite treats (Reeses and Doritos) my mom got us the Sparkling Cider (Our Favorite) and Thin Mints. I all ready had the mugs and I got the mini family traditions book, and the things to do once in a lifetime cards, discounted from the Weber State Bookstore. Then there is our traditional Whiteboard we write all our love notes to each other on.  It is such a fun inexpensive tradition we use to show we care. Lastly I wrote Nick a note to bring all of the gifts together.

My Darling Nickolas,

On this Valentines Day I wanted to tell you how I love how your sunflower eyes SPARKLE. You're a wonderful CHIP off the old man's block my DEAR ito ;) 

You are a gentleman and so NICE! I really appreciate and love that! Darling I love you to PIECES more than any KAT. 

I can't wait to shower you with KISSES

And start a FAMILY with you.

There are many love stories out there, but OURS is my Favorite.

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=wAZOHLNy1cM2bV2M

(Link to our Story)

I can't wait to spend the rest of my LIFETIME and the rest of Forever with YOU!

LOVE, your Darling Reb 

Since Nicks Love Language is words of affirmation and mine is gifts, this was the perfect way of combining the two, so I could still love him in his language while still speaking mine (by giving a gift). Nick loved this surprise!! 

Truth 3: Make Valentines Day about Family!! Valentines Day is also Nick's Dad's birthday which has been such a blessing because it has helped us focus on loving our family on Valentines Day.  Family has the best kinds of love and often gets overlooked on Valentines Day which is sad.  Whether you're single or in a relationship! Show your family and friends you love them on Valentines Day.  Nick and I are super excited to start or own family that we will teach the real meaning of love too.  I think it's important to keep Valentines Day pure, so many people focus on Physical Love on Valentines Day which I think is fine but sad! If people focused more on their Emotional Relationships on Valentines Day I think it would be more enjoyable for everyone.  But the physical parts can be so fun especially when your married;) So make it fun!! But also focus on giving all your family and friends love!

Truth 4: Do things that take you back to where/how/when you originally fell in love.  It will bring all those original feelings back, plus blissful nostalgia and amazement about how far you have come.  For Nick and I that place was Historic 25th street in Ogden, and the how was through music.  So after Nick saw his surprise, we decided to go for a walk (Because the weather was beautiful) and we ended up going to good old 25th street, and sitting on this adorable blue bench, and singing the night away.  It was so romantic and exciting, we both just let go as we sang our hearts away to each other and to the people around us, allowing our harmony to intertwine through the night air. While we were singing these awesome girls told us that we reminded them of the couple in the "Endless Love" movie they had just seen and asked to take our picture.  So we sang to them.  It was so rewarding to share a piece of our love with them.  I hope we inspired them a little to wait for the one person that makes everything just fall into place. I know Nick was worth waiting for;) And singing with him is one of the most exhilarating and liberating things I have done in a long time. I felt my voice becoming free again, and my anxiety and fears crumbling down. It's incredible what love can do.

So happy Valentines Day Everyone from us to you, may you always recognize the love everywhere in your life, whether you are in a relationship or not.  There are always people their for you, that love you and support you, and Valentines Day is a great way to recognize them. I know we love you!!!! 

So Happy Late V-Day from us to you 

LOVE REB&NICK